Gratitude

Song OTD  :  One Toke Over The Line Joke OTD  :  Where do frogs deposit their money? In a river bank. Thought OTD  :  We must learn to trust despite knowing we may get hurt. It is only by opening our hearts that we can have flourishing relationships, see the opportunities around us, and begin to live a more fulfilled life.

Song OTD  :  Help Me Joke OTD  :  After kissing a girl on her sofa she said "let's take this upstairs"."Ok" I said "You grab one end and I'll grab the other". Thought OTD  :  Relaxing in the present moment puts you into a mental and physical state of calm, quiet and tranquility. Furthermore, it allows you to get off of the "here-but-gotta-get-there" treadmill.

Song OTD  :  How Can I Live Without You Joke OTD  :  I took a viagra pill the other day. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck. Thought OTD  :  Be thankful for what you have. You'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have you will never, ever have enough.

Song OTD  : You've Lost That Loving Feeling Joke OTD  :  It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool rather than open your mouth and vanish all doubt. Thought OTD  :  And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Song OTD  :  Hey Bartender Joke OTD  :  A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke but he was alright because it was a soft drink. Thought OTD  :  We were all humans until race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us, and wealth classified us.

Song OTD  :   Moves Like Jagger Joke OTD  : Did you know that if you hold your ear up to a stranger's leg you can actually hear them say "what the **** are you doing? Thought OTD  :  Did you know that if you hold your ear up to a stranger's leg you can actually hear them say "what the **** are you doing?

Song OTD  :  As Time Goes By Joke OTD  :  It's so simple to say something wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite. Thought OTD  :  Very often we are not thoughtfully living in the present but allowing our thoughts to drift to events in the past or projecting events that might happen in the future. Neither thought process allows us to fully enjoy the wonderful, gifted, present moment that we are in.

Song OTD  :  Once In Awhile Joke OTD  :  Why did the picture end up in jail? It was framed! Thought OTD  : Depression is an extension of both guilt and anger turned inward.

Song OTD  : The Chair Joke OTD  : What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake. Thought OTD  :  Recognize that there is an ever flowing divine order that is with us.There is a perfection and balance in everything that happens. Stay focused and you will see the full glory of the process even in the midst of tragedy and chaos.

Song OTD  :   Look Of Love Joke OTD  : I just got 15 minutes of cardio by trying to pick up an ice cube off the kitchen floor. Thought OTD  :  Overthinking is one of the most rampant sources of stress and mental clutter. The key is to realize that the problem is not the problem. The problem is the incredible amount of overthinking you’re doing with the problem. Let it go and be free.

Song OTD  :  Something In The Way She Moves Joke OTD  : I hate it when people text "call me". I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me" and hang up.  Thought OTD  :  Most of the things we think we need prove to be entirely superfluous. If we examine the things we think we need we'll see that they're mostly things we want. Want and need are polar opposites. Anything beyond the necessities in life are merely wants fueled by the ego's desires.

Song OTD  :  Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Joke OTD  :  Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Thought OTD  :  Even when it’s tough to wear a smile do it. Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy. Sometimes it simply means you’re strong. 

Song OTD  :  All I Ask Joke OTD  : One martini is alright. Two is too many. Three is not enough. Thought OTD  :  Having depression is being in an abusive relationship with yourself.

Song OTD  :  Trashy Side    Joke OTD  :  How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? Thought OTD  :  Let a person's character be their currency and you will find that a lot of rich people are actually bankrupt. Being the richest man or woman in the cemetery doesn't matter. Going to bed every night knowing you're making a positive difference in the world is what matters.

Song OTD  :  All I Ask Joke OTD   :  When women go wrong, men go right after them. Thought OTD  : When your heart is open and you're thankful for the perfection of the universe your soul will respond with the message of unconditional love.

Song OTD  :  Honesty Joke OTD  :  When you go into court for trial you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. Thought OTD  :  Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. 

Song OTD  :  When You Say Nothing At All Joke OTD  :  Marriage is a great institution but I'm not ready for an institution. Thought OTD  : A true relationship is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

Song OTD  :  Thinking Out Loud Joke OTD  :  What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?  Lost. Thought OTD  :  Giving your partner the space to save face, and not taking things personally when they’re occasionally upset, cranky, or having a bad day, is a priceless gift.  

Song OTD  : The Lazy Song Joke OTD  : My nephew found a cassette tape in my house. It was like watching the early man who discovered fire.  Thought OTD  :  Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs and that is the risk of doing nothing.

Song OTD  :  Maybe Joke OTD  :  Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes. Thought OTD  :  Loving ourselves opens us to truly knowing ourselves as part of the matrix of existence, inextricably connected to the boundlessness of life.

Song OTD  : If You Could Read My Mind Joke OTD  :  I'm trying to date a philosophy professor, but she doesn't even know if I exist or not. Thought OTD  :  Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend.

Song OTD  :  Rainy Night In Georgia Joke OTD  :  I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said "I've been waiting all day for you " Well, I said, I got here as fast as I could. Thought OTD  : What's worse than being hated is being ignored because it's like you don't exist at all and your presence means nothing.

Song OTD  : Your Gonna Miss My Loving Joke OTD  :  What's the best place to grow flowers in school? In the kindergarten. Thought OTD  :  Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Song OTD  : Spooky Joke OTD  :  There's only two people in your life you should lie to. The police and your girlfriend. Thought OTD  :  When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.

Song OTD  : Deja Vu Joke OTD  :   Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment. Thought  :  We do not heal the past by dwelling there. We heal the past by living fully in the present.

Song OTD  :  Heartbreaker Joke OTD  :  What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! Thought OTD  :  If you're not happy with what you have you'll never be happy with what you want.

Song  OTD  : Is That All There Is Joke OTD  : What do you call a frog stuck in the mud? Unhoppy. Thought OTD  :  Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. 

Song OTD  :  And I Love You So Joke OTD  :  Where does a polar bear deposit his money? In the snowbank! Thought OTD  : Negative emotions are like unwelcome guests. Just because they show up on our doorsteps doesn’t mean they have the right to stay.

Song OTD  :  Chain Of Fools Joke OTD  :  All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. Thought OTD  :  You didn’t just cheat on me but you cheated on us. And you didn’t just break my heart you broke our future.

Song OTD  :  Lay Down Sally Joke OTD  : There's only one thing that is worse than being married and that's being single. Thought OTD  :  Do not doubt your own basic goodness. In spite of all confusion and fear, you are born with a heart that knows what is just, loving, and beautiful.

Song OTD  : Butter Joke OTD  :  What's big and grey and wears glass slippers? Cinderelephant. Thought OTD  :  If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up then you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.